A Counsellor at the Pentecost University College Mrs Gifty Bremansu had said conflict in marriage is not necessarily evil but how you handle it yours your maturity.
She indicated that whenever two or more people come together, the chance of marriage conflict is bound to increase adding that marital conflicts are not bad in themselves but it is response to the conflicts that can be either helpful or harmful.
Mrs Bremansu was speaking at a Marriage Seminar organized by the Adantan Estate Worship Centre of the Church of Pentecost in Accra.
She stated “Marriage conflict is a normal part of married life since each person in the marriage has had different life experience, and undoubtedly, has different expectations of marriage and from his/her spouse hence each one is going to react differently to life’s challenges.”
Speaking on the topic “CATCH THE LITTLE FOXES IN YOUR MARRIAGE” the counselor noted that couples are always looking for big challenges in their marriage to address but they often forget the small ones such as personal hygiene, good habits. This she explained is the cause breakdown of marriages.
She classified the little foxes in marriage into two;internal and external. Under internal little foxes , she mentioned complacency, the spirit of laziness, unexpressed sentiments and bitterness, hard hardheartedness as some of the things that destroys marriage.
The others are unforgiveness, Cheating, Neglect and Abuse, Work! Work! Work!, Denial of sex, Use of social media and lack of purpose for the marriage.
Mrs Bremansu entreated spouses not to be complacent in the marriage. “You must not take things normal by saying I have done these things all this well so if I don’t do it nothing. You must not take things for granted.” she added.
She said irrespective of the fact that love is important in marriage money is also important. Couples must support each other by working hard since laziness brings poverty and love and money goes hand in hand.
The Counselor urged parents to desist from giving bad advice to their wards when they are getting married .” A man will pick a phone and call the mum asking how much to give to his wife who is going to the hospital. the mum too will calculate and tell the son give her 5gh.”
This she said is very bad. “If you know you cannot take independent decision. Don’t marry. Marriage is not for babies”
Another issue she spoke about is Unforgiveness and cheating. She entreated couples to learn to forgive each other since that will bring peace in the marriage and avoid cheating by being open to their partner and be sincere to him or her.
Mrs Bremansu advised married couples to have time for their partners instead of devoting all your time in your work and social media. “Spend time with your partner and make our marriage romantic instead of chatting people on whatsapp, facebook among others.”
With external little foxes, the counselor mentioned the foxes of in-laws, friends, Social Clubs and Spiritual Forces.
“In-laws are part of the marriage so treat them with respect .Manage in law relationship well because they can bring your marriage to an end” she advised.
With friendship, she urged couples to know the kind of friends they make and also desist from discussing their marital problems with them. “Some are dangerous and can give you poisonous advice which will destroy your marriage.”
She noted that it is important that couples pray and commit their marriage into God’s hands. This is the surest way to have a peaceful and happy marriage.